Case of a Friendship

My husband and I had moved to our first apartment in 2000. After maybe a year there we were able to afford to buy me a computer. So when I got online I started looking for local pagans or open minded people to meet. I found a local group and after talking in a yahoo group setting for a few months I decided to go to one of their meet ups in a local coffee shop. That's were I met her. Looking as out of place as I felt, so I said hi and intoduced myself. We sat together and meet other folks. Our of the 6 months of going to meetings I had made a hand full of friends. Then I had a major flare and was pretty much homebound for 3 months. Of t washat handful of friends she and one other stayed in touch. She made the effort to really understand my illnesses and to help us out. She brough us dinner many times and asked nothing in turn. She took me out when I felt up to it.

All that changed this year when she started planning her wedding. Suddenly my understanding friend was no longer being understanding. Now everything was about the wedding and if I had to cancel plans she would suddenly freak out that I was unreliable and how could I be a bridemaid. It didn't help her parents were wanting to plan a very fancy and expensive affair. I doubt they wanted a bridesmaid with a cane or limping around. So as I tried to deal without having insurance or proper medications, I was sick a lot. Then sicker I got the more she freaked out. She finally left me a message on my voicemail telling me I was no longer a bridesmaid but I could still come to the wedding if I wanted. She also told me that we couldn't be close friends any longer because SHE couldn't deal with my illness anymore. Seemed I had become to much for her to deal with now that she was marrying.

To say I was angry was an understatement. I called and told her I would not be at her wedding nor would we be friends of any kind. The one friend I had for so many years was gone.

Where one door closes another opened though and I have several good friends who stuck by me during a very diffucult year. Friends, particular one who lives nearby who comes over at least once a week or more to watches movies or even get me out of the house a little while.

Although I will never forget everything my no longer friend did for me and can't forgive her not really trying to see me or trying to talking to me about what was going on with her and the wedding. I think its sad that she has decided she's better off without me. Even sadder is the fact that I feel some what relieved to no longer have to stress over her being upset or freaking out when things don't go her way.

Life is too short to deal with unwanted or needed stress. The past year has taught me to appericate those around me even more and for that I will always be thankful.