Earliest Memories... Bondage Fetish

The earliest memories I have of anything sexual are from when I was roughly 3 or 4.
This is intriguing because it may well be the earliest memories I have.
I recall being in my room at the trailer my parents had before we moved into Mama and Papa Wise's house after Papa Wise died and Mama Wise was moved to Maw and Paw's house.
That was roughly when I was 7 or 8...
So everything younger than that occurred while we lived in that trailer.

I had a bed in one corner. I still remember the layout.

It was roughly... Walk in, there is a bed across from the door. The bed is in the corner on the far wall. The window is in the middle of that wall, over the bottom half of the bed. The closet is to the right of the door in.
I had a wicker screen my mom had always had that was used for the headboard on my bed. It wrapped one corner around my bed and the rest was behind the bed. I loved it.

I hung things on it. Like pretty shiney things.
Like... necklaces and jewelry and rings.

Then one time... I discovered the bits between  my legs and started exploring those.
I remember finding anything that was a bit painful as pleasurable.
I'm not making that up.
I remember solidly attempting to cut myself with a toy knife and liking the feeling of the almost-painful pressure it created.

Then I remember thinking that being tied up would be fun.
I tried to make "handcuffs" on the that wicker headboard by hanging things from it I could stick my hands into.

I know these things occurred before I was older than 5-6 because they happened while I had that wicker headboard which I didn't have once we moved to the new house later on, and which was moved out of my room a year or two before we moved.


Torture... as I must have seen it in movies... interested me as  a child.

I remember seeing a non-Disney rendition of The Hunchback of Notre Damme, being Fascinated by the concept of "flogging" and wanting to try it.

In my new room, I had my own bathroom and it had a lot of cabinets. I remember a girl coming to my house to play... Amy was her name... and I asked her to play "torturing a prisoner" with me.

We took turns being the prisoner. The prisoner was tied to the cabinet handles in the bathroom then hit with a string while we made up whatever story it was for the reason it was happening.

We used red nail polish to make "slashes" on our skin where we had been flogged.

At dinner that night, I had hidden the red nail polish as best I could but for some reason, my mom noticed a bit on my arm and asked what it was from. Amy blurted that we'd been pretending to whip each other. I was SO TERRIBLY embarrassed I wanted to die. I don't recall getting in trouble... but I remember being told not to play that way.

When I was maybe 9... a girl who lived across the street from me and was like 14 came over and played with me sometimes. She and I would often play a "jail" game where my closet was "Jail" and she'd be the sheriff and lock me in. I'd pretend to want out and cry and bang on the door and she'd taunt me playfully about not getting out. 

Sometimes she'd tie me to a chair if I asked.

My mom got mad at her when she found out and then I don't recall her coming back. I think her name was Jennie. She had some sort of hare lip.

When I got a bit older, I became fascinated with being tied up such that I couldn't get out.

It wasn't any use to me if I could get out.

So my grandpa started trying to find a way I couldn't get out of a knot. He was good at this.

He tied me up so many times that I couldn't get out for a loooong time.

But I'd finally always break free.

One time, he insisted he could tie me up in a way I couldn't get free. I dared him.

He tied me up so that I was on my tiptoes and the rope literally wouldn't let me settled down onto my feet with my arms tied out wide and neither could reach the other. The rope criss-crossed itself in so many ways... I didn't get out of that one. I eventually gave up and asked to be freed. 

That said... I was apparently fascinated with "bondage" in general from a young age. Since 3, I kept going back to playing at bondage in one way or another over and over.

I was always a bit of a sucker for pain too.

Do most people find their later would-be fetishes that early in life??? or was I really just that odd.

I have no idea.

But if I remember something that I KNOW happened when I was 3... it really makes me tilt my head at my 4 year old daughter and wonder how well she will remember the days we are sharing right now.