Abi: I guess I was a late bloomer. [16/30]

I’m not going to be digging too deep today, as I’m feeling a little discouraged (about internet things in general, as well as this challenge now that I’ve stepped over the half-way mark).
This is going to be a sort of: “what I don’t remember” post… if this makes any sense.


When I was younger I wasn’t physically attracted to people, actually I’m still a little like that. I didn’t have many crushes, not real people at least, as honestly very few people interested me in an intense way.

My interests, as far as crushes, were strictly on the television or in literature. I remember my biggest and possibly first crush was Q from Star Trek (Next Generation strictly, all other versions were lies), but naturally he’s not very physically appealing, so that was never a part of it… and well, I was in my pre-teens and he’s just, well, old…
But oh my word is he is just… Amazing…
(And don’t start with the whole BUT he was a bad guy crap, as he wasn’t… he only ever challenged them, and made them all the better from it…  and at least it was fun as well.)
After him I think I was big obsession with Sid6.7… which I would not be surprised if anyone had a clue to who he was… Then there was LaCroix, Spike, Snape, House, McKay… Oh my, the list isn’t truly long, is it? It’s like one obsession every few years.

All my crushes/obsessions tend to be, well, either an antagonist or an underdog. I’m not interested in the hero, the handsome, the goody-goods… They are shallow and boring, and even if they might be some ideal of attraction, I can’t see it… The thing that possesses my heart is not appearances, though some of those I’m fond of can be damned pretty.

I didn’t even really give a crap about sex until I was… holy shit, like 21 or something. This isn’t to say I was a virgin by then (but my first two encounters were very malevolent and then insanely boring, and needless to say I am NOT going to talk about those), I just didn’t care for it.
I am, apparently, one of the very few girls who hadn’t planned out a wedding in her head (still haven’t, either).

I never remember dreaming of marring someone, even one of my television obsessions (How boring: like someone, chase after them, win them over, then marry them… the hell kind of story is that?! Where is the challenge, the excitement, the longing, the tragedy?).
I didn’t really date in school, I had a few long distant ‘relationships’, but nothing remarkable (even if the other side refuses to agree on that part).
I never went to the prom, and while I kind of feel I lost that chance, I don’t even care. I wasn’t big on social events, especially school related.
I never pined over a fellow student…
And I never wanted children until I was an adult and with John.
These things just never interested me… and while I’m comfortable with sex now, have a sex drive, and have been dubbed a succubus, I just… I don’t know, the world is filled with so many other things to desire over than human bodies.


Why do I feel like a minority?