Abi: How to annoy your sibling. [07/30]

My sister can attest to the amount of ‘torture’ I set her through in her life.
I’ve been trying to recall some of those things, and I shall share them here today. It can be a guide of sorts, that perhaps I can pass down to my girls. ;D
[A hint for these: Persistence and patience pays off… well, along with high points in Stealth and Manipulation! ●●●●◌  ]

• Make faces out of mustard on their Batman Forever posters. (It’s no big deal, it has a glass cover… and it was Robin anyways.)
• Learn to pick the bathroom door’s lock.
• Leave random images or drawing in their notebooks.
• Recall a fake memory (or a few) and see if your sibling can help you fill in the blanks. (Sucker!)
• Sit extremely close to them and repeatedly say you’re not touching them.
• Change telly channels on them from a different room or out of sight.
• Sit nearby while they are reading and just stare at them.
• Start laughing hysterically when they go to eat or drink something (I used this one WAY too much, but it ALWAYS works (still does)… because they easily assumed I did something, as well, it would be something I might do… Naturally I didn’t even have to do a damned thing besides laugh).
• Follow them around with a watch and a notepad for hours and do a ‘behaviour study’ (one of my all time favourites). You will note everything they do or say and how long it takes them to complete each task.
• Call their mobile anonymously from your mobile, when sitting next to each other.
• Leave index cards with random messages all around the house and in their library books, but insist the number they found is a lot less than the amount you hid.
• Keep reminding them, arbitrarily, that they are going to Hell because they kill their mum’s pet bird (You’re going to HELL!).
• When they get mad and start yelling, stop bothering with the argument and just laugh at them as they get redder in the face and MORE upset because you’re laughing. In order to really work you MUST continue to laugh until physical violence is threatened or they leave.
• Turn a simple game of hide-n-seek into Hide-n-Seek SCARE, where you hide around the corner and leap out at them (regardless of rather your the hider or seeker, if you have stealth).
• Just hide around corners in general.
• Turn off the bathroom light when they are in the bath (one of the reasons we learned to pick the lock).
• Insist on seeing or hearing something that is not there.
• Slip things under the bathroom door while they are in there.
• Turn on all the hot water in the house while they are in the shower/bath.
• Hide important belonging (like their glasses).
• Hand them the phone and say it’s for them, when there is no one on the line…or if it’s a telemarketer.
• Send them emails from anonymous addresses that say: “What are you wearing? I know where you live, I’m going to come kill you.”
• Call them, making your number unidentifiable, and breath heavily on the phone and say nothing. ( *67)
• Leave them voicemails of what is playing on the radio/media player at the moment.
• Give them links to scare videos on Facebook.
• Change important information about something every time you talk about it (like the date/day of an upcoming event).
• Hack their accounts and post things under their name, or change their profile image.
• Unscrew all their light bulbs.
• Steal the batteries from the remotes.
• Tear a page from the final chapter of the novel they are reading.
• Hang their Robin poster sideways (I really hated Robin).
• Put Vaseline (or clear nail polish) on their glasses.
• Play Karma Chameleon on repeat for a day (or two).
• Try to convince them that they are adopted.
• In the days of internet via a phone jack, make a call while they are online.
• If they turn off their phone or don’t answer, leave as many voicemails as possible.
• Get chummy with their best friends and cleverly manipulate that friend to tell you all your sibling’s secrets without them realising they are doing it. (Hint: Convince the friend you know about the crush, and just play along until enough is said to know the person, or the name is mentioned.)
• Make sure to block the television as much and as often as possible when they are watching something or playing a video game.
• Block useful doors with as many objects as possible.
• Repeatedly mock their name for years on end: “[It’s] A man! Duhhhhhh!”
• Cough over their food.
• Unplug things that they would not unplug, like the clock, radio, or lap… or, if possible, the desktop computer. (:
• Change the time on their clocks.
• Stare at them while they are sleeping (you’ll have to make some noise in order for them to wake and find you).
• Report your sister when she steals something (what was it, like a piece of gum or a jolly rancher?) from the mini-mart and get yourself both banned for ages.
• Leave cryptic messages for them that seem urgent.
• Train your pet to dislike them.
• Record over their VHS tapes.
• Mail them a letter from a ‘secret admirer’. (This works best if you can easily change your handwriting.)
• Makes ransom notes for objects, like teddy bears.
• Mark random (but realistic) things on their calendar, mimicking their handwriting as best as possible.
• Change their computer login password (after you hack it).
• Repeat everything they say for half an hour.
• Just not talk to them for hours (which only works if you’re persistently there and they are trying to talk to you).
• Tell them you can’t hear them, repeatedly, until they get too frustrated about reiterating themselves and tell you to never mind about it.
• Keep untying their shoe laces.
• Steal their shoe laces.
• Follow them around with a spray bottle filled with water.
• Stare at a blank channel for an extended period of time and insist it’s your favourite show. Get defensive when they try to convince you it’s a blue screen. (Works best if there is something on they really want to watch).
• Hide limbs or heads to their dolls.
• Cut holes into the pockets of their trousers while they are out of their room.
• Offer to get them a can of soda pop, then shake it up (out of sight).
• Hide behind the recliner (or in the shower, or in their closet, or under their bed) for ages, until just the right moment to jump out.
• Every time they hint they are going to the bathroom, quickly excuse yourself and try to beat them there.
• Make a list of annoying things you did to them with one that is fake, and see if they can find it.

It kind of becomes clear why my sister and I didn’t get along, I mean I loved her to death but I guess she didn’t like being the recipient of my humour… or see the love I had for her (I can see how she might have thought I hated her, but I didn’t)
But MY GODS was it fun! I miss it, honestly… It was a challenge to come up with new things to do to annoy her (who am I fooling, I still do it, it’s just limited to online now).
Ah, I suppose I could continue this list, but this probably makes me look so bad already. *snickers* Perhaps I will amend this list, if more memories come.